Impossible.

Try to figure solve this, but don't cry when you can't figure it out.

A Russian war general oversees 24 captives. He decides to amuse himself by devising a game for the prisoners and promises to free them if they win. He sets up a room with a table and 2 drinking glasses: one on the left side of the table and one on the right side. The glasses can be turned to face up or down. He sends them individually into the room as often as he chooses and in any order. They are not allowed to make any marks other than turning only one of the 2 glasses; otherwise they are fed to the wolves. The captives are in single cells and have no indication of who has been in the room. They are also unaware of the glasses were originally up or down.
The general says that if one captive can tell him when all 24 have been in the room, he will free them. But if any one person guesses incorrectly, they are all thrown to the wolves. He allows them to consult the night before the game. They devise a plan to ensure success: how will they earn their freedom?

P.S. I'm pretty sure this one's not on the internet if you plan to google the answer (lame).

P.S.S. I have the distinguished honor of being an expert procrastinator in the truest sense of the title since I spent the last hour finding/revising this riddle.

Cynicism on Facebook

A diagnosis from your resident cynic:

When you're bored doing homework, nothing is more entertaining than browsing Facebook pictures and comments, reading strangers' wall-to-walls trying to discern the nature of their relationship, or enjoying the myriad of groups and fan pages that cater to all walks of life and senses of humor. However, I find absolutely nothing more entertaining than reading statuses.

Forget the cafeteria or water cooler gossip; Status updates are where it's at if you want to know what's shakin'. Hear the latest on So-And-So's break up, or how awesome Suzie Q.'s day was, or see if you've missed something "life-altering" on T.V. (Without status-stalking, I never would have knwon about Kanye's cruel and hearless interruption of T-Swift. Digusting.)

But wait--the best ifs yet to come. The most highly entertaining facet of Facebook is to read the countless statuses posted by the people who never even speak like that--those statuses that are so clearly out of character for their masters that you just know the writers have discovered the truth about Facebook:

You can be whoever you want to be. *

*Disclaimer: The illusion created by your electronic persona may not be "bought" by anyone who actually knows you. However, considering the small perctage of Facebook "friends" we actually know, most users will not experience this side effect.

Urgent news!!1 "Michelle Williams enjoys burger!"

Sometimes I go to people.com just to read the rediculous headlines.

Personal favorites:

The Great American Temper Tantrum

There comes a time in everyone's life when they reach a breaking point. Hopefully it will not end like this:

Exit Your Rock. Encounter the Awk.

Just in case you have been living under a rock for the past few months, we now present AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com for your awkward photo viewing needs. Personal favorites: awkward engagement photos and anything taking place in a dance studio.

Bonus: In the search bar, type "Grey's Anatomy" and "Roman Shade" for some serious laughs.

www.AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

Dear Dove Chocolate,

Today my class discovered a bag of Dove dark chocolates in the storage closet, and we quickly distributed them amongst all the students. Oh, what joy this brought to all of us! As little wrappers were taken off the chocolates, we soon discovered that words of wisdom were written on the foil. I heard shouts of proud chocolate-eaters proclaiming their quotes: "happiness is contagious" and "take a deep breath", things of this nature. "Wow these are so cool, I can't wait to see what mine says!" And then....I looked at my wrapper. What did I see written on the foil? An advertisement. An ad-ver-tise-ment. Imagine my disappointment.
A good quote would have brightened my dreary day, but I was denied the healing power of dark chocolate with a phrase that read "Enjoy the silky smoothness of DOVE."
Well Dove, I will think twice before "enjoying" your chocolates again. If I am already eating one of your products, I don't need to be reminded to buy more. Here's a thought: give me what I paid for, inspiring quote included.
Sincerely,
Blogger Lady

Distracting Video of the Day: Slow Loris

Finding a Use for Your Useless Knowledge

Can you name every birthstone in order? Do you know all major automobile companies by their flashy logos? Can you name the top seven songs of 1993? You need Sporcle.

Let's face it, you're never going to use those brain cells. Rather than spend time learning some useful stuff, why don't you see how much worthless information there is in those few cubic inches between your ears? Daily quizzes and categories make the arsenal of time-wasting quizzes and tests potentially infinite. Go for it.

www.sporcle.com

A Brief History of Cougars

Time Magazine's photo essay on the history of cougars is certainly a cause for "Cougar Pride!!" (shout out to St. Jude alums).
Long gone are the days when media sources report on issues with a global impact. People want to read about stories that are relavent to their own lives (or at least relavant to the lives of the Californian celebrities of "Real Housewives of the OC"). And journalists are paid to give in to the demands of their customers: which is why we see stories like this one on the time.com homepage:
http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1955844,00.html

Power to the Tan

As the sun continues to make scattered appearances throughout the month of January, precious days in the sunshine remind us girls of our weeks spent bronzed and tanned only a few months earlier. There’s always a bit of a rush and bustle about tanning and highlights as spring and summer start to peep through winter clouds. Some resort to expensive spray tans, others look to “tan boosting” lotions, and those of us with little time for lounging in the sunshine must resort to spending our lunch hour with shorts and sleeves rolled up trying to tint ourselves back from ghostliness.

So the question came up today: Why do those with tans tend to have more weight in our society? Seriously, there is no better gauge of your societal merit than the shade of your skin. Take a look at the cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore. Check out the personally validated consciences of the stars of The Hills. Those are the people who are getting attention and changing the world —not missionaries, activists, or politicians. The darker your tan, the more credence you have on the global stage as a major contributor to society.

Therefore, rather than doing community service, finishing your degree, or even just being a loving person, you should just head to a tanning salon if you want to make a difference in the world.

Google AutoComplete

Much can be learned about humanity simply by looking at google's most popularly searched items.

Blissful Ignorance

This is what happens when kids don't take a geography class.

Off to a Classy Start

The first post could be none other than keyboard cat. Enjoy.