Totally looks like

Metaphorically Speaking

http://www.qwertyed.com/q_pages/q6_fun_pages/analogies.html

A list of hilarious metaphors from a contest for funniest and most ridiculous metaphors. I snorted at most of them. Thanks to Morgan Searles.

-Bonnie

The Noble Ambitions of a Housewife

While studying European History with Gullino, we noticed that the centuries-old discrimination of women has always constricted them to having little more ambition in life than running a satisfactory household. For example, 18th century wives of English imperialists in India aspired to learn Hindu in order to better govern their servants. So I have compiled a list of what a modern housewife might aspire to do:
(written from the perspective of a housewife)
1. Create a sponge that quickly and more efficiently washes dishes
2. Purchase books so that my husband might read them to me
3. Own several dresses of the same color so that I might avoid laundry for a couple of days
4. Aquire gardening skills so that I can have the neighborhood's prettiest yard
5. Name my children Francois and Lord William because they deserve only the best
6. Ensure that my children are shielded from offensive television programs such as America's Next Top Model and The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
7. Entertain fellow housewives with tea and stimulating conversations about sewing and bridge
8. Invent new and exciting snacks for the children: prehaps a bite sized bagel with pizza toppings (I could call it a "bagel bite")
9. Memorize excerpts from Sarah Palin's book, "Going Rogue"
10. Learn songs from The Sound of Music on the guitar so I can teach the family like Frauline Maria did

Oh to be an American

You have got to watch this.

I cried laughing it's so bad.

memorable quote: "It's just like a mini-mawle"

Really?

WOMAN BLAMES SQUIRREL FOR TOPPLING BIKE
Police arrested Tiffany Lynn Gaubert, a 22-year-old unaffiliated with the University, of 170 Constant Drive in Thibodaux, for disturbing the peace by intoxication after receiving complaints of someone overturning a motorcycle at East Campus Apartments.
The motorcycle’s owner told police Gaubert tipped the motorcycle. Gaubert denied toppling the motorcycle and blamed it on a squirrel. Gaubert, who police later learned was drinking vodka and Dr Pepper, said she was trying feed barbecue to the squirrel when it ran off and knocked the bike over, said Sgt. Blake Tabor, LSU Police Department spokesperson.
The owner did not press charges, and police were ready to release Gaubert, Tabor said. She then became hostile toward the officers and was arrested and issued a misdemeanor summons for disturbing the peace. She was transported by police to a friend’s residence, Tabor said.

I love life

Usain Bolt Celebrates Early...Very Early

Time Magazine Quote

Demotivators

Despair.com: obsession would be an understatement

The babysitting industry is rough.

Click to read.

AWK

Have you ever tried to high-five someone and then awkwardly hugged or handshaked instead? Well these guys have.
http://i.imgur.com/mk5Y3.gif

You Know You Go to SJA When

1. Getting the grey quote on a website story commands respect from peers.
2. You’ve been told by an administrator that you’ve “outgrown your uniform”.
3. Being an aquantance of someone is sufficiant grounds to take her birthday food.
4. You go to mass just to watch the liturgical dancers.
5. You get the blue screen of death at the worst time possible.
6. You find ways to quote themes such as “weave one heart” and “serve the dear neighbor” when describing a school function.
7. You delete school wide emails before reading them.
8. You failed a PE test. On badminton.
9. You’ve fallen up the stairs, or watched this happen to someone else.
10. The library is actually the most distracting place on campus to study.

Thank you, Washington Post!!!!!

I appologize for neglecting the blog while getting my act together in that institution commonly known as "school" (my procrastination has gotten a bit out of hand). But in my defense, this irresponsibility is justified by senioritis. Just read the article.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/03/AR2008020302355.html

Lord Likely's....

...Extra-Ordinary Interactive Moustache O-Rama
Requires little to no effort and is very entertaining: ideal criteria for earning a place in Procrastination at Its Finest.
All thanks go to Kara.

http://www.lordlikely.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/tashorama.html

This is making me dizzy

Ask.yahoo Morons: Part 3

Once again, back by popular demand. Just can't get enough! I'm glad people are answering their questions; they need encouragement to continue.

Advice Column

click to enlarge

The things you can find on the internet...

I don't really have a caption that does justice to this wardrobe malfunction

Figure Skating Costumes

I think I've been underestimating this sport.

ask.yahoo morons: part 2

Back by popular demand, the bright minds of yahoo inquiries are here again.

Is this really a side effect?

This is a comment a woman made about taking chlomid. She claims the drug took over her body and now she's seeking help by sharing her story. I worry about thses people. click to enlarge

The Sheep Market

Good website for procrastination purposes.
http://www.thesheepmarket.com/

personal favorite: # 6818

Save the Antelope

If you can't see it, here's a link:
http://www.jamesmaurer.com/save-the-antelope.asp

Dalai Lama: the social butterfly

The Dalai Lama Just Joined Twitter

And just like that the Dalai Lama has jumped to over a thousand followers, tripling his count in just a few minutes. Hard to keep secrets on Twitter.

In an East meets West and Old meets New convergence, the Dalai Lama has just joined Twitter.

The account is verified, and according to his three tweets, he joined around 12 hours ago. You can find his account here.

He has just 354 followers so it’s likely that no one knows that he is tweeting away in his saffron robes. Look for his Twitter follower account to explode in the next few hours as everyone picks up the story.

Humor for Lexophiles

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A .
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
A calendar's days are numbered.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Say what you mean to say

From ask.yahoo

From Newsweek's Quotes of the Week

"I am beginning to get fed up with the amount of nonsensical rubbish I take all day and every day. If one more [New Zealand] child asks me what it's like to be a prince, I shall go demented … Will you visit me when they strap me in a white apron and deposit me in some institution?"
England's Prince Charles, in a letter to friends during a 1981 tour to the southern hemisphere. The letter was part of a collection of Charles' private writings released by The Guardian last week in honor of his 60th birthday.

Jim "The Hammer" Shapiro

Nothing beats bad commercials, especially when it's a lawyer's ad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zToHQ8oQvgA&feature=related

people.com: saving the world one news report at a time

You won't want to miss this

100 Cheesiest Movie Quotes of All Time



all thanks go to katie for finding this

Caught on Google Maps

In this Web 2.0 world, the cameras are always rolling and the net is always capturing moments worthy of fancy living club viewing.

No, Africa is not a country.

Need to brush up on your geography?
Entertain yourself for hours with these map games and redeem America's not-so-great reputation with map skills.
Where would I be today if I didn't learn the locations of Balarus and the United Arab Emirates?

http://www.maps.com/FunFacts.aspx

Run to Canada while you can!

Douglas Elmendorf, director of the Congressional Budget Office, speaks about the economic and budget outlook in Washington, D.C.

The latest dose of reality from Elmendorf's CBO: a forecast that the federal deficit will reach $1.35 trillion this year — $4,400 for every American. All that red ink means the overall debt will rise to $8.8 trillion by the end of 2010, or about 60% of gross domestic product — the highest level of public debt since 1952. "There's a fundamental disconnect between the level of benefits that people want the government to provide, particularly for older Americans, and the amount of resources that people want to send to Washington to pay for those benefits," Elmendorf says. "To make the fiscal policies sustainable will require some resolution of that fundamental disconnect."

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/politics/article/0,8599,1958671,00.html#ixzz0eVU0e8Fv

This is why you're fat.

If there is one thing Americans know how to do right, it's eating. Take a lesson from the pros at thisiswhyyourefat.com

BACON STONEHENGE: classic elegance


BIG BURGER: eating 3 meals at once never tasted so nutritious

CHOCO DOGHNUT: because nothings says morning pick-me-up like cheese and eggs sandwhiched between fried dough