As the sun continues to make scattered appearances throughout the month of January, precious days in the sunshine remind us girls of our weeks spent bronzed and tanned only a few months earlier. There’s always a bit of a rush and bustle about tanning and highlights as spring and summer start to peep through winter clouds. Some resort to expensive spray tans, others look to “tan boosting” lotions, and those of us with little time for lounging in the sunshine must resort to spending our lunch hour with shorts and sleeves rolled up trying to tint ourselves back from ghostliness.
So the question came up today: Why do those with tans tend to have more weight in our society? Seriously, there is no better gauge of your societal merit than the shade of your skin. Take a look at the cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore. Check out the personally validated consciences of the stars of The Hills. Those are the people who are getting attention and changing the world —not missionaries, activists, or politicians. The darker your tan, the more credence you have on the global stage as a major contributor to society.
Therefore, rather than doing community service, finishing your degree, or even just being a loving person, you should just head to a tanning salon if you want to make a difference in the world.
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